If I could turn these words to gold // August 22nd, 2010 at 9:22 am

Reading: Beautiful Boy by David Sheff/Communist Manifesto by Marx and Engels
Listening to: silence

I've been missing for almost a week now, and I apologize. I'm trying to keep up with everything in my life and it's proving hard thus far, harder than I imagined.

School started last week. It's been overwhelming. Not tests, or much homework yet and I feel like I'm already drowning. I'm still working 40 hours a week at work, and I'm still working on the secret project! Which I'm planning on announcing the next blog post- GET EXCITED!

So basically my entire life is around those three things.. school, work, secret project. It sounds completely unexciting and boring, but I've made friends at work, the secret project has helped me in making a lot of new, very valuable, relationships as well as establishing experience, and school..well.. school is school.

So stick around because the next blog post is going to include-

1Reveal of the secret project
2Lots of pictures, hopefully
3..well.. that's pretty much it..


I try so hard // August 15th, 2010 at 10:42 pm

Reading: Beautiful Boy by David Sheff
Listening to: Where Did You Go? by A Rocket To The Moon
Designing: Nothing

I got third place in a photography contest on Atomic Affliction. I'm extrememly competitive, and I'm very disappointed in myself for only getting third place. I think it was out of 13 photographs or something. I'd love to go into my entire opinion on getting third place but it would definitely hurt some feelings so I'll keep it to myself. This is the picture I submitted:


I got a half-promotion at work today. I got moved up to being a Visual Assistant/Recovery Specialist which sounds really professional and nifty. The Visual Manager told me if I like it, and if they see stellar performance I'm going to get promoted to Visual Merchandiser. Which means a mega-raise in my hourly pay rate. So I definitely want that. Today was extremely exhausting and stressful. I want the promotion more than anything. My goal going into this job was to get a promotion at 6 months from starting the job, but it looks like I'll be getting it within 3. The things you can accomplish when your mind is set. It's amazing, really.

I'm having issues with my schedule at school. I think I've been dropped out of all my classes. It's not looking so good. I'm overwhelmed with it all. I have been going to school for the past 15 years of my life, I can't imagine Not going. It seems impossible.. ridiculous, even. Just working? How can I do that? While everyone else is going to class? I can't comprehend it. I don't even want to. I just want to go to school. As absurd as that sounds, and as much as I actually hate school, I want to go back. I look forward to going back, because it seems like such a routine. School, summer break, school, summer break. There never seems to have been a choice. But when something like this happens I realize that the choice has always been there. I have a goal, and my goal is to graduate with a bachelors degree. and I will get there. No matter what. I hate losing, and I won't lose against myself, or the world. I hope to get my schedule sorted out, and be able to go to class, but with classes starting tomorrow and having the problems that I do I don't see it happening.

I'm going to try and figure out how I feel about it all. Right now I'm more confused than anything.

One last thing, I want to write a novel.

The monsters in your bed // August 14th, 2010 at 9:26 pm

Reading: Beautiful Boy by David Sheff
Listening to: I'm Made of Wax, Larry, What Are You Made Of? By A Day to Remember
Designing: Flyers

I just found out I'm scheduled (if I'm adding hours up correctly) for 44 hours at work next week. Which is almost impossible since the company I work for doesn't like overtime. It must be a mistake. I also start school on Monday. School full-time and 40 hours a week at work? I want to start crying right now so that I can get that out of the way because I'll be too busy for it come Monday. I just need to remember to take deep breaths and realize that it's all worth it. But with a schedule like that, how am I suppose to give my 100 percent at my job and in classes? I'll have to skip out on sleeping, or maybe eating.

Secret project is staying secret because it's still unfinished! But it's going VERY well just so you know :)

I also want to say that the people who visit my site are the best people in the world. That's right. You, reading this, you are the best! I love you! I love all the comments everyone leaves that are always extremely encouraging and comforting! You don't know how much I appreciate it! I try my hardest to answer them all but sometimes I miss a few, so this is my apology and my thank you for putting a smile on my face!

Lastly, I went to see a local favorite band of mine a few nights ago. There's a park in Raleigh that plays movies in this kind-of outdoor theatre and this band i love played a set before the movie and they were stunning. I can't imagine having the guts to play for a bunch of people that don't know the music or the band. It must be extremely nerve-wracking. A few pictures:


I'll set this city on fire // August 7th, 2010 at 10:43 pm

Reading: The Catcher In The Rye by J.D. Salinger
Listening to: My dog running on hardwood floors
Designing: Flyers

Sorry for the lack of updates. I have been EXTREMELY busy with a few things, two mostly, which is work mainly and then another which I'm keeping a secret for a little while until it progresses a little farther. Hopefully I'll be able to share soon, but until then- I hope the suspense is killing you!

Today after work I met up with my friend. I hadn't seen her in at least a week. When I see her again after not being able to hang out for a while I realize how much fun we really have together. You don't realize how important something is to you until it's gone, you know. We had a break-up scene in the mall parking lot because she never comes and visits me. We live about 45 minutes from each other and with our 40 hour work schedules it's often hard to get together. I told her we couldn't be seeing each other anymore, and that I'd call her tomorrow. She's definitely my best friend if I ever had one.

Two new affiliates, check them out.

School starts in a week, and I don't know how I'll make it through with 30+ hour weeks, a full-time school schedule and earlier mentioned "secret project" (that's what it's going to be called from now until it's revealed!) Life is hard. See you later!

PS I'm keeping up all the old blog posts. But after my incident, some material has been removed.

From your lips to your hips to your heart // August 1st, 2010 at 2:42 am

Reading: A Million Little Pieces by James Frey
Listening to: Complete Silence
Designing: Nothing

Everytime I fill in the little "designing" slot I feel guilty because it always says nothing. And I keep telling myself I'll start working on something. Then I realize how busy I am, and then I realize how I keep trying to make myself even more busy even though I can't handle it. **EDIT** Content that was previously here has been removed **EDIT**

**EDIT** Content that was previously here has been removed **EDIT**

I just wanted to post to keep you guys updated. I don't have much to say otherwise. It's almost 3am, I'm not tired but I need to sleep because I'll regret it tomorrow. I'm just ready for this (hopefully extremely beautiful) day to get started!

It doesn't get much better than this // July 29th, 2010 at 1:44 am

Reading: A Million Little Pieces by James Frey
Listening to: Mile Markers by En Serenade
Designing: T-Shirts!

I do not want the day to end! I feel as if everytime I turn around, something else amazing happens! I have had a smile pasted on my face all day long and nothing can make it go away! Where to begin?


I made some t-shirts for a show I'm going to this Sunday, click the X's above to view them. They are of course, of my favorite band at the moment, The Future Is Me as I've said in recent posts. The second shirt is one I made for my younger sister for the big main act that will be at the show, Jonas Sees In Color. Well, after finishing the shirts today I posted them on Facebook (of course!) and tagged the band in it. Within about 2 hours, most of the band members had commented, added me as a friend, and one even used my shirt as his profile picture! I am in utter joy! I am such a fan of these guys, and it feels absolutely marvolous to have them appreciate my work so much! Can you imagine designing something for your favorite band/singer and getting praise from them themselves? It is amazing! It seems that they are as excited to see me at the show Sunday as I am to see them!

Now, to less exciting things (but nonetheless exciting) I will be hosting someone! I will say no more until he chooses to launch his site! Get excited because his graphic skills are ABSOLUTELY MARVOLOUS! I have also added a new affie, Simple Complications.net. I love getting new affies!

Also, I joined a website called Day Zero, and made a list. You can visit it here. I got the idea from Simple Complications.net and loved it so I decided to do it myself! I basically have to do 101 things that I list in 1001 days. It seems easy but I look at it and I can't imagine geting all of them done. Some involve removing myself Very far out of my comfort zone! So get ready for this! I will post everytime I finish something!

That's all for today, but before I leave you I want to thank everyone that visits and comments on my blog! Your comments are extremely encouraging and wonderful and I appreciate them more than you can possibly imagine! So thank you to all my readers and commenters!

PS I have an uncontrollable urge to shop. I can't wait till payday on Friday because I will shop my heart out!

Darling, we're falling down this path to disaster // July 26th, 2010 at 11:41 pm

Reading: Laurell K. Hamilton's Guilty Pleasures
Listening to:In Hell Exhale by The Future Is Me
Designing: Nothing...

My blog was not satisfying. So in an attempt to satisfy myself, I changed the layout hoping it would render me capable of achieving what I want with this. What I was doing previously was recording my days activities, talk about how cute something was and how much I loved it. What I want is for this to be a place where I can talk about how I feel. I want to be able to release a day's pent up anger, happiness, worry, shock, etc. in an attempt to calm my soul, and sleep a night's sleep completely satisfied. Look three paragraphs below for a further explaination...

I've realized that making resources is not my strong point. I feel like I need to offer something, but in reality, doesn't every other website have something to offer that is always going to be better than mine? I accept this, so don't deny it. I don't pretend to be an amazing graphic designer offering marvolous things no one could possibly imagine! The best I can do is hope to entertain you with the thoughts that roll around in my head. And I hope that is satisfying enough, for my blogs readers. And by saying this, I don't mean that I'll be taking down what I have- I just doubt I'll be adding more to what is there. And if I do, it will probably be something original (like, for example, my t-shirt making tutorial!).

Just this blog has made me feel better. I said what I needed to, and now it's out of my head and onto this page.

The reason for needing this so badly at the moment, is because, you see, I don't have many friends who enjoy listening to me talk about little things that I need to get out to go on to the next day. I want this to be a diary. To have a place where I can say something without judgement, and without someone worrying that I'm judging someone else or whatever the case may be. I just need this. Now more than ever as I've seen the amount of friends I can trust with some information greatly decline as of late (college is what happens, and you lose all your closest friends to...things...).

I have to add- I am absolutely jumping out of my shorts for this coming Sunday, because I get to see these guys..


Sadly, I don't even know if I have the night off, cross your fingers they don't schedule me! (They usually don't on Sundays, which is when the show is!)


Team Edward // July 21st, 2010 at 11:24 am


so I told guys I was going to this little Twilight party thing, and that i was making cupcakes so here they are! They're not regular sized, they're actually mini cupcakes and the Edward ones have red-dyed lemon frosting, little fangs and glittery sprinkles on top. The Jacob cupcakes are chocolate on chocolate with little ears. Everybody absolutely loved them at the party! I got so many compliments! :) I'm awfully proud!

the sky with a rainbow and complete light at the other end

There was a crazy thunderstorm here yesterday and the sky was just absolutely beautiful afterwards so I snapped pictures. In this one, on the left you can see a rainbow and on the right it's was completely blue! It was so nifty! The rainbow didn't photograph well but it made a complete arch which looked really nice!

I'm not in the mood to blog so I just wanted to put the pictures up. I may post again today to talk about some stuff I've been doing so hopefully you'll hear from me again! Have a great day!


It's like Rain On A Beautiful Day

July 18th, 2010 at 9:28 pm

New watch!My watermelon plants

That's a picture of the new watch I bought for work. I love it. Must-have for the summer is a white wristwatch so I'm definitely stylin'.

I took some pictures of the little watermelons I'm growing in the yard beside my house. They're so cute! I haven't gotten to eat one yet though.

some of my watermelons

Tomorrow afternoon I'm going to this little Twilight party thing. I'm thinking we're going to watch Eclipse (illegally, of course) but I'm not quite sure. I'm making cupcakes and I'm definitely going to take pictures to show you guys because they're going to be so cute! There's going to be little Team Jacob cupcakes with little ears and Team Edward Cupcakes with little fangs! You guys will love them. Hopefully they'll turn out as good as I plan!

Talk to you tomorrow!



July 15th, 2010 at 7:17 pm

I updated the layout! In case you can't tell. I didn't like the colors of the last one and how it all just seemed the same so here's something a little more refreshing!

My puppy, Ziggy, getting ready for the concert (although we couldn't bring him!)My younger 
sister all decked out and ready to go!

I went to a country concert this weekend, it was Toby Keith, with Trace Adkins. I'm really not a country music fan but I went anyways. I felt like it was unexciting (maybe because I didn't know the songs, or maybe because they gave no effort in connecting with the crowd). I like shows at the Brewery (a local venue that doesn't hold a lot of people for local bands) fifty milllion times more! There's nothing like a show there. I mean, you get to meet the bands that play, rock out with them and mosh. It's just so much fun compared to a big country concert. I went with some friends and I had a decent time, I guess.

My team! I made the t-shirts for it. They're sponsored by my dad's construction company Let the games begin!

Yesterday night I went to watch volleyball games that we're holding for my church. My dad sponsored one of the teams with his construction company so they all have his logo and name on the front. I got to make the t-shirts so I'm very proud of them. We played against the team my uncle sponsored and it was a lot of fun! At the end of the day, my team came out victourious in our first game, and we almost won our second, but we lost my 3 points! I had a lot of fun although I didn't play (I'm Team Manager, and I was reffing) I'm thinking about making myself a neon yellow Referree shirt so I seem less bias! lol

That's all for today. Thanks for reading guys, and thanks for all the comments! I did my best to answer all, but I may have missed a few (my apologies if I did!)


i love my life!/sad wallpapers of boys


**EDIT** Content that was previously here has been removed **EDIT**

On other news, I was looking at Google Webmaster earlier and I saw my terms that people look for when they find my website. Apparently, my number one term is "sad wallpapers of boys". Take a minute to laugh at that one. I don't think I've ever put that sentence in my blog. Other terms were "describe me", and "artsy wallpapers" most of the others referred to hockey, one of them was "hockey is my life".

With this post, they'll be able to find my website by typing in sad wallpapers of boys all the time now... ridiculous.

alex skarsgard as eric northman wallpaper


Alexander Skarsgard/Eric Northman picture wallpaper

If you don't know I'm a really big fan of The Sookie Stackhouse Series by Charlaine Harris and the show True Blood based off the books so I decided I'd make a wallpaper for Mr. Eric Northman, who's been my favorite character from the start. Alex Skarsgard is the actor that plays him in the True Blood episodes and he does a marvolous job, he's so dreamy!

Heading off to work soon so that's all I have for you! Hope any True Blood fans can enjoy it. I wasn't sure what screen resolutions are most popular so if anyone needs it resized let me know and I'll resize it for your screen. Thanks for reading!

oh, it can't be!


new bag!

Isn't the bag adorable? I went into Forever 21 today for my job orientation. It went very well and I'm pretty exciting about the job! What I'm more excited about is that I'll be at the mall all the time. I'm going to be able to buy a lot of clothes which I'm really pumped about.

Updates:A lot of new affiliates, new 'Currently' section on sidebar, new book list on 'Me' page.

Squelch \skwelch\, verb- to crush down, to make a splashing sound


I feel this represents me in a way that it may seem silly and immature but you still think it's worth your while and fun :)I've changed the layout yet again, I know! I was just laying around all day today and decided to make something and this is what it became. I hope my visitors enjoy it as much as I do! I also changed all the pages to php and came upon the realization that coding and web design are not my area of expertise.

So, fonesex and wolfcarnival both put up 10 random facts about themselves and I thought I'd do it as well. Considering not many people know who I am, it's a way to get a better idea. So here goes..

1 I'm really silly most the time because I like to see people smile.
2 In a not-so-cocky way, I'm good at a lot of things, but not great at anything.
3 I think a photograph is the best way to look at anything because it last forever.
4 I always want someone elses qualities because I admire them, but then I realize that I have my own that I'm admired for.
5 I love boys with a little edge and a great sense of humor.
6 I pretend to like the taste of alcohol because drinking allows me to be carefree.
7 I can't remember the last time I was truly happy and comfortable.
8 I have a strong desire to help anyone and everyone and it takes everything I have to be mean.
9 I have never done a drug besides drinking, and have no intention of ever doing any.
10 Winter is my favorite season because of all the marvolous combinations of clothes I can wear.

There. 10 things you may or may not want to know. No lies, all truth, just for you!

And, my title is my word of the day. Sadly, I didn't use it in my post!

Not one thing helps the emotions like retail therapy


Whenever I have a dull week, the best way to deal with it is by spending too much money. So I did. On those shoes, mostly. I bought them at Bakers, and I got them on sale. They're probably the highest heel I own now, about a 1/4 of an inch higher than my second highest pair (also from Bakers, for the record). I love shoes so much.

I also went to H&M and spent too much money there too. But it's worth it, because I need to look cute at my new job! I bought a loose striped navy and white sweater, a loose black shirt with black jewels sewn on the front (which I got for $5, I repeat FIVE DOLLARS!), and a beige polka-dotted shirt from H&M. I am in love with H&M. I used to always see it in the magazines and we've never had one in North Carolina but it opened recently and I can't help but buy everything. I also bought a black beaded necklace, black flower earrings and a very cute ring, all at Forever 21!

The new job I speak of is going to be Forever 21 at the mall that I went to today. I'm excited about the job, and while I went in to buy jewelry, I met someone who will be my coworker and asked her how she liked working there (because I've heard a lot of negative things about the job) and she said she loved it! That certainly put me in a better mood!

I (nearly) spent my entire paycheck. But it's worth it, besides the fact that I'm going to be broke all week. But I'm going to be getting a surprise in the mail, because I'm hopefully going to recieve my iPhone within the next 7-10 days! I can't wait!

Last thing I want to say, is that my hope and prayers are with a family in Apex that lost their daughter last night due to alcohol intoxication. I can't imagine what they're going through. She was a friend of my cousins, I'm not sure how close but it pains me to hear it anyways. And I want to remind everybody that when you drink, please be safe about it! Know your limits and stop before you pass that thin line!

Updated: New album from Run For the Sun under Graphics, Photography, and new wallpaper under Graphics, Wallpapers and new cbox so please comment!

if wal-mart didn't have such rock hard floors..


...then I would still have a working telephone. But I don't. And it's entirely Wal-Marts fault.

Actually, it's probably mine. I was walking around carrying cake mix, an icing decorator bag, a sobe drink, and then I tried picking up dog treats while holding all of those in my arms and the phone just slipped right off the top... and then I realized I was three days past my warranty. I cried for the next twenty minutes and refused to buy anything from Wal-Mart ever again.

Hopefully I am going to buy the iphone 4 soon. There is no use in fixing the screen because it'll cost me 200$ and the little round button is broken as well. So I'm just going to upgrade. That is, if any at&t store still has the iphone in stock. I hope they do, because living without an iphone is a lot harder than anyone can ever imagine (unless you've been stuck in my predicament, or dropped your iphone into your starbucks coffee because then we have a similiar predicament and understand how each other feels).

I'm going to buy the biggest darn iphone case they sell, too! Wal-mart will not stand in the way of my happiness!



It almost wasn't though, because I'm posting this at 11:38pm! Congrats to me, I got the site up in less than two days!

I'm not sure if I want this to be a blog, or to be a resources and blog. I just don't know how often I'll be able to make graphics and such. Considering that fact that I haven't made graphics in like... 2 years? It's going to be hard to get back in the loop.

Hope for me!

Today may be the day!


This is a test so that I can code the blog title and blog css stylesheet. Aswell as the signature Today may be the day that I put this up, though I doubt it. Nothing else on the website is finished. Except the blog and the sidebar.

I'm going shopping this weekend. I can't wait. I'm thinking about putting up pictures of when I got shopping on my blog. Because i can! and my nikon d5000 makes it super snappy to just upload them because i stick my memory card in the side slot on the laptop! how nifty!